“Dance, when you’re broken up. Dance, if you’re torn the bandage off. Dance, in the middle of fighting. Dance in your blood. Dance, when you’re perfectly free. “—Rumi

Observe your emotions as if there's a distance between you and your emotions. As if your emotions are performing on stage and you are sitting in the audience watching them dance.

When you are in tune with your body you can sense the signals that your body is giving you.

 

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We all want  good relationships, don't we?

For some good may be something like mad sex, fun times, and  someone to help us get through the tough times. 

Others may think of something like attraction , connection and compatibility.

Some may articulate their thoughts around a good relationship as a non-judgmental, caring, understanding yet challenging  environment.

Others may simply say, easy.

So while we all have this abstract idea about what good may be,   not all of us have a clear definition of what “good” actually means to us.

Not having this internal clarity leads to many of us stepping into things with a level of excitement, passion and interest and walking away just as quickly because of  “something”  that just doesn’t feel right but we can't put our finger on it. 

Many of us on the other hand continue the course unfulfilled, dragging ourselves from one day into the next. 

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While pinpointing and dissecting all of the things that can go wrong is outside of the scope of this post, in order to get out of the abstract realm and get more specific, here we will discuss some common mistakes that we all, more or less, have made at some point in our lives.  

As you read through these patterns reflect on the things that have been present in your relationships. Next, consider transforming those things that are sabotaging you and preventing you from experiencing happiness in your life.

Here’s a playlist you can listen to relax while reading.

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As humans, we are hardwired for emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual intimacy and one way we aim to do that is through sex.

While many equate sex with an expression of love that deepens the bond between two people and brings emotional closeness, some view sex as an outlet to release stress and tension.

One major aspect of personal growth and self-actualization is to master the domain of sexuality and sensuality so that you can move past impulsive reactions and compulsive drives to conscious responses. For that, you need experiences that can assist you in identifying your sticky points and helps you to develop the ability to free yourself from them.

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Life is an experiential process and no two people experience it the same way. But one thing we have in common is that our internal and external environments continuously interact with one another as we create experiences. In other words, an experience is the outcome of this interaction and is influenced by the state of your internal and external environment.

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Due to the fact that our brains are wired for resistance, we usually take on the  challenges we face in our relationships through avoidance rather than with curiosity. Hence,  many of the relationships  that seemingly start off as healthy transform into an unhealthy dynamic.

Even though unhealthy relationship dynamics can take different forms - family, friends, romantic or professional partners– the focus of this post is more on the relationships that we choose to have ( romantic, professional etc) and not the ones given to us (family).

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Considering that no two humans have identical views on life, I think it's fascinating when we’re able to relate to others and when others are able to relate to us.

In fact, we do this all the time. While watching our favorite shows, listening to music and influential speakers, reading books, and when interacting with people in society through different mediums. After all, we are social beings and our joy in life involves staying connected to others.

Beyond that,

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Most people want to be successful and to be happy and everyone has a vision of how their ideal life would be. 

But life is a game of distraction. Everyday life events pull at our attention and we end up losing sight of the things that really matter or even worse we  sometimes deliberately distract ourselves with other things. As a result some of us end up tangled in places where we do not know how we got there and how to get out of.

 

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Motivation plays an active role in the pursuit of wellness along 9 developmental lines (see figure below). Each of these lines can develop in the area of your interest or what you find to be personally important to pursue growth, learning, and development in.

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After 4 days of intense writing and resentfully scrapping 40 pages, I found myself exhausted. As I sat in front of my laptop, time felt like it was accelerating with the clock ticking away seconds, minutes, and hours.
Within a few hours, I needed to hand in a document to my editor on “The Top 10 Reasons That Make You Lose Motivation”. My mind was racing through all the notes that no longer existed as all the evidence of the hard work I put in was scrapped.

Although writing is a skill that I continually try to master, blogging is something that I've recently gotten myself acquainted with and it appears to be a whole different ball game!

Two weeks ago I was happy with the progress, enjoying the process, and excited about what's next to come. Today, I'm approaching a deadline and I'm dreading the outcome.

It's unlike me! I never had a problem with deadlines if anything I've always been looking forward to it. What am I going to do ?

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Why do you think you've been procrastinating ?

Fill in the blanks in the following sentence;

I'm motivated to ……..but I procrastinate because…….

Procrastination doesn't always go hand in hand with lack of motivation. In fact I believe that procrastination and lack of motivation are very different in nature. While procrastination is a mental habit, lack of motivation for the most part stems from misalignment.

It's only through clarity that your mind and body will both engage and accept change and growth. Remove confusion, uncertainty, and ambiguity from your goals.

There are plenty of reasons as to why you procrastinate and I’m sure they seem valid to you. Here are some tips that can help you overcome this habit.

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Ever wake up feeling so energized that you thought today is going to be different; that it’s going to be one of the most productive days of your life?
You made a mental list of all the things you wanted to accomplish by the end of the day, but somehow time flew by, things happened and you ended up getting so preoccupied with something that was not even on your list?

Or maybe you put the pen to the paper and made an actual list of all the things that need to get done and assigned time brackets to each one of the tasks, but somehow half way through the day external distractions popped up, the noises in your head got loud, your energy levels dropped, and so you hardly checked anything off your to-do list?

You may continue like this for a while and perhaps one night while you’re lying in bed, you start going back and forth in your mind, thinking about why you seem to be going in circles, and what you could be doing differently to make things better. That is, if, you are not one to find a justification for your stagnation.

You might realize the need for a change, start googling the best techniques to get things done, finding self-help books, reading articles, and collecting more and more information that you hope will help you, one day, improve your life.

But somehow you are still exactly where you started only with hundreds of pages of information you have saved but never actually gotten around to applying to your own life.
If you are one with a “justifier mindset” you will probably tell yourself you are just spontaneous; a free spirit who likes to set loose plans. That’s just your personality!

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